Two things you must do today:

2016 Eeny Teeny Maya Moe. – “This is a great thing for you: you went from sitting on the sidelines to getting in the game! Sometimes, when you least expect it, you realise that someone loved you. That means someone can love you again. That’ll make you smile.”
1304 Eat, Pray, Queef. -“You really think women care that much about queefing? Is that really what you think this has all been about? This has been about women having a little bit of fun for once, at your expense. For just this one time, we could be the immature ones to make you feel uncomfortable. But no – you just couldn’t let us have that one, little thing, could you? Because even though things are getting better for women, you still think of us as lesser people sometimes, and we always have to prove ourselves twice as hard. Congratulations, guys. For getting your way. Again.”