laremy.sg

I don’t normally do this i.e. criticise things/people/places in public spaces, so you can guess how pissed off I must be in order to make a post about this.

My friends and I had actually planned to head to Five Izakaya Bar for drinks, but we took a detour to have a very late dinner.

Unfortunately, we hadn’t taken into account the Bar’s early closing time, so we headed to the next nearest dig, which was Bar Opiume.

I will never go back there again, and I hope you don’t either, because that place is the dumps.

First, we had to wait for someone to ask us if we wanted a table. Then we had to wait for menus which never came.

You might think I’m being unreasonable here, but:

• when your entire table has been seated by a somewhat reluctant server (which is stupid – you’ve got a table that wants to spend its money), and
• the table has been waiting for menus for five minutes, and to top it off,
• the table has been glaring at a bunch of bartenders and servers who are looking right back at the table and laughing and joking about god knows what,

this is a bar that must be brought down. Why?

Because it not only has bad service, it has bad service to good customers like myself:

I was once a waiter and now I’m a customer. I go out to eat … and I have boatloads of sympathy for servers and tip generously. But the reason the staff … pissed us off was because we acted like perfectly reasonable customers and they still treated us like shit. If we had been demanding and pushy I could understand, but we weren’t.

– Waiter Rant, Vive La France

Remember, ladies and gentlemen: avoid Bar Opiume like the plague.

What they want/why they are searching for me.

And why they don’t just say hi.

I think this should work regardless of whether she/he has a working knowledge of algebra and/or inequalities.

First, text her/him this message:

Given 9x – 7i > 3(3x – 7u), solve for i.

If she/he can obtain the answer, then you can skip the rest of this post. This assumes you’re not a dunderhead and that you’ve managed to obtain the answer too.

Otherwise, she or he will probably convey her/his uncertainty to you via “Huh???” or some other less graceful reply. If that happens, then you can proceed to demonstrate your mathematical prowess in this manner!

(Running commentary in the hyperlinks in case you need the explanation – just move your mouse cursor over the hyperlink and wait for a while. An explanation will pop up shortly.)

9x – 7i > 3(3x – 7u)
9x – 7i > 9x – 21u
9x – 9x > 7i – 21u
0 > 7i – 21u
21u > 7i
7i < 21u
i < 3u

= i <3 u or i ♥ u

Cute right? Got this idea from this website.

DISCLAIMER

1. There is a possibility that this is old news. If it is, please forgive my dinosaurian ways.
2. The worst thing I foresee happening: a text message that inadvertently breaks up your relationship or marriage. I disavow any responsibility if that happens. But I’d be interested in knowing about it if it does – it’ll make a nice story to tell the grandkids, I think.

Happy very belated Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Winds across water.
Paper boats without sails will
Change course once again.

The decision:

The aftermath:

As though I had never been there at all!