(IMAGE: Gregory Grinnell/Northeastern University)
I like how, thanks – or no thanks – to the 2019-nCoV, almost every single boomer has become a medical expert on the subject.
Last Saturday morning, my Grab driver told me we can protect ourselves against the coronavirus by eating “a lot of hot stuff: ginger, chili, curry – all these!”
He added that going out into the sun and taking a walk will result in the sunlight “burn[ing] off the virus”.
These pro-tips were in addition to many other pro-tips from other boomers I’ve had the honour and privilege of receiving, such as:
- Don’t use cheap toilet paper because it’s a possible cause of the infection;
- Gargle with warm salt water; and
- Take non-spicy food.
Interestingly, the last tip completely contradicts what my good friend told me today. I guess there are some things boomers still can’t agree on.
What boomer advice in relation to the 2019-nCoV have you received? Please share.
When all this is over, we’ll compile these nuggets of wisdom into a book and give a copy to each boomer during a mass ceremony to confer on them their honorary medical degrees.
Wed, 25 Apr 2018
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
APPOINTMENT OF MS INDRANEE RAJAH AS SPECIAL ADVISOR TO THE MINISTRY OF CHINDIAN AFFAIRS
- The Prime Minister’s Office announced yesterday that Ms Indranee Rajah has been promoted to full minister. She will be appointed Minister in the Prime Minister’s Office, Second Minister for Finance and Second Minister for Education. She will also be appointed Second Minister for Law until 30 June 2018.
- The Ministry of Chindian Affairs approves of this and congratulates Ms Indranee on her promotion.
- The Ministry would also like to announce that Ms Indranee will be appointed as Special Advisor to the Ministry with effect from today.
- As Special Advisor, Ms Indranee will provide advice on the Ministry’s strategies to grow Chindian capabilities. Ms Indranee will also advise on the participation and engagement of Chindians in national fora and conversations.
- To celebrate this momentous occasion, the Ministry would like to announce a special, one-off holiday. This will take place immediately after Chindian New Year.
- As Diwali 2018 will fall on Tue, 6 Nov 2018, Chindian New Year will be celebrated on 1.5 days – from Wed, 27 Jun 2018 till noon on Thu, 28 Jun 2018.
- The special holiday will be celebrated from noon on Thu, 28 Jun 2018 till noon on Fri, 29 Jun 2018.
- Chindian Chap Goh Meh will be celebrated on Thu, 12 Jul 2018.
MINISTRY OF CHINDIAN AFFAIRS
(NOTE: This is satire.)
That feeling when all you need to buy is one – one – laundry net but you are stuck behind Man Who Feels The Need To Buy Everything In The Japan Home Store, in the only check-out queue manned by World’s Most Meticulous And Organised Cashier, who waits patiently for the same man to count out his cash to the cent ($107.90), while you have enough time to write and edit this post, including redundant and extraneous – tautological, perhaps – words, bearing in mind that the genesis of this sentiment took place some five – five – minutes ago…
…was how I felt this weekend when I popped into the shop for what I thought was a quick purchase, but which ended up taking 10 minutes.
No wonder, then, why AI is coming for everyone’s jobs.