Lucky Strikes.

Marlon Brando lighting up.

So I mentioned that day that one of my poems has been published in the latest issue of Ceriph.

Here it is:

          Lucky Strikes
          By Laremy Lee 

          For all the boys from 10A04.

          Fumbles one out from the box, strikes
          it at a dulled edge: conversation
          does not ensue. He tries again – twice,
          thrice, before its head snaps off, departing
          into the distance of a long, lonely night.
          Leaves him standing there, limp
          cigarette dangling loosely from his lips,
          moisture slowly soaking filter tip.

          Lighting up shouldn’t be a dismal match
          grovelling wildly at the feet of blunted flints,
          looking to catch the song of a spark
          in a vain draw on an inflamed hope -
          that determination will grow into fire.

Go get your copy of Ceriph if you haven’t already done so.

POSKOD.SG: Ten Steps to Communicating Effectively.

POSKOD.SG Graphic

No -

My latest article on POSKOD.SG, the latest big thing to hit our shores.

Ten Steps to Communicating Effectively.
A guide to winning over friends and contacts in Singapore. (Mostly contacts.)

Besides playing good football and making babies, there is nothing else that we on the Little Red Dot are better at than communicating effectively.

And for good reason too: what in the world could be more Merlion-esque than saying something that one means?

In any case, here are ten steps to effective communication, the Singaporean way.

  1. When conversing, the first thing you want to do is to include people in the conversation. Hence, name-drop or insert as many obscure allusions as you can into your speech:

      “Yes, Delia said the same thing about the Blue Paper. In fact, she said it was similar to the Green Grass Policy implemented back in ’08.”
  2. If people don’t get it, show amusement. The is best displayed through subtle upward spasms of the muscles between the upper lip and the cheek:

      “You… don’t know Delia?” *twitch* “Oh, right – you weren’t on the Remaking WLB committee with us.”
  3. Use acronyms. They are the PIE to life in the fast lane during AM rush-hour traffic, just before SUVs go past the ERP gantry:

      “WLB, WLB! What part of WLB do you not understand?”

(continued…)

How to compose an e-mail message.

E-mail.

In the last few years, I’ve noticed a trend: most students don’t know how to compose e-mail messages, even if their lives depend upon it.

That’s quite a pity, because this is actually a compulsory skill taught at the ‘O’ Level. Specifically, it’s taught in the English Language Paper 1, in Section 2, or the Situational Writing section.

Perhaps it’s not made so explicit i.e. perhaps teachers don’t teach students how to write e-mail messages per se.

But I know for a fact that teachers do prepare their students to write formal letters – the structure of which can be used in e-mail messages.

So it’s either one of two things:

  • Most people need to be taught specific actions for each scenario in life, or
  • Most Singaporeans have been taught to the test so much that the ability to transfer and/or apply knowledge learnt in class has been lost entirely on them.

In any case, I’ve also learnt that if people make mistakes and aren’t corrected at specific points in their lives, they go through the rest of their lives carrying said mistake(s) with them.

THEREFORE!

So that I don’t need to keep on repeating myself over and over again, this is the Mister Laremy guide to crafting an appropriate e-mail message!

(Round of applause, please.)

Dear student,

Thank you for your e-mail. Please take note of the following:

  1. For future correspondence, you must include a salutation that addresses the recipient of your e-mail or letter e.g. Dear Sir, Dear Madam, Dear Mr Laremy, etc.
  2. You must also include a paragraph or two of text that explains the purpose of your message. A blank e-mail message literally does not say anything.
  3. Use a valediction or a sign-off appropriate to the content and tone of the message e.g. “Yours sincerely” or “Sincerely” since you are a student writing to a teacher, in this case.
  4. An example of how you can craft a simple but appropriate e-mail message:

    “Dear Mr Laremy,

    I have attached my assignment to this e-mail.

    Thank you.

    Yours sincerely,
    A. Long-Suffering Student”

  5. Other things that you will find useful:
    • If your work is late, you must start off your letter by apologising for not being able to meet the deadline and then requesting for an extension to the deadline.
    • I believe you mean to use the word “deadline”, not “dateline”. Please consult a dictionary to ascertain the meanings of the respective words.
    • When you write to teachers, you cannot adopt a superior tone in your e-mail because we are not your subordinates. This means that I have a bit more leeway in terms of using phrases like “Please take note” – but you don’t.
    • Neither can you adopt a familiar tone with teachers in your e-mail – we may be friendly, but we are not your friends.
  6. If you’re not convinced, or you don’t see how knowing this will help you in life, you may want to refer to this website.

Have a great day ahead.

Thanks,
Laremy

Opening Address – available for FREE!

My art is better than yours - guestbook entry.

Just in case you missed The Power of Notions/Notions of Power, Opening Address is now available to everyone as:

Both are free, in case I forgot to mention their price.

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