Will Jun Liang get some tonight?

I checked my mobile phone after coming out from the shower, and was very surprised to see that I had received two text messages.

Who would text me at this hour, I wondered. (More accurately, Is it from a secret admirer! was my more hopeful but ultimately wishful thought.)

Nevertheless, I was curious so I opened the first message. To my amazement, it read:

In between two podiums. Near to (sic) the gal’s podium. -jun liang.

Huh! I exclaimed to myself, while Leon ruminated thoughtfully over math questions. Who is this Jun Liang, and why is he texting me!

My curiosity piqued, I opened the second text message, which to my amusement this time, read:

We’re at the bar next to the toilet

Because I am so intelligent and clever, I very quickly put two and two together – while Leon algebrated his math problems – and deduced that: Ah ha! It’s Wed nite/Thu morning, so Jun Liang is Mambo-ing at Zouk, and he is texting someone his location so that said someone will know where to find him.

However, I don’t know Jun Liang, and I don’t think Jun Liang knows me – I don’t have his number in my phone book, and I don’t know (m)any Jun Liangs anyway, so I suspect he typed the number out in a drunken (not violet) but very frenzied haze and sent the messages to me, the unintended recipient.

Because I am so easily amused, I laughed to myself (not out loud, mind you, because Leon was busy numerating the denominator) at the absurdity of the situation.

But because I am also very imaginative, I immediately started worrying: Oh no! What if Jun Liang (my new-found friend) intended the text message for a GIRL? And what if she doesn’t receive the messages? Will she ever be able to find him?

Quickly, because I am a quick person, I typed out this reply to Jun Liang:

You’re msging the wrong person dude! But I hope you get some tonight! Don’t be scared, just whack, if you don’t try you’ll never know!

Satisfied that I had managed to avert yet another national disaster, I walked over to Leon and very proudly told him what I had done.

However, he grunted at me and asked me to help him with his math problem.


I hope Jun Liang gets some tonight.

P.S. If you are Jun Liang and you read this, please let me know if you got some and I will declare the next day a public holiday for everyone!

About the author

Laremy Lee

A versatile educator, writer and editor, Laremy Lee (李庭辉) has the uncanny knack of being one of the few among his generation in Singapore who crafts compelling stories in different genres.

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