Gurrrl…

Fri, 14 Dec 2012
2 min read
Add Comment

I was at the M1 Shop at 313 Somerset last week to repair my cracked iPhone 5 screen.

For the record, the phone isn’t actually repaired – you have to pay $350 for your phone to be exchanged with what seems to be a new iPhone 5, although I suspect it’s a refurbished set (somehow).

Anyway, I encountered another “gurrrl” moment while I was waiting in the queue.

(Unfortunately, I can’t find the post that explains what a “gurrrl” moment means.

Suffice to say, it refers to a moment when someone says something that is so… innocently naive? That all you can do is to just stare at the person helplessly and say, “Gurrrl…”)

There were two people in front of me in the queue – a girl and a guy.

I had the impression they were the Singaporean equivalent of trust-fund kids: pampered young adults who don’t need to worry about work and money because they live off their parents’ wealth.

Also, they were hanging around the M1 Shop early in the day, and it is my fervent belief that there can only be so many unemployed self-employed people in Singapore.

Employment rates aside, this is what I overheard her telling him the moment I entered the queue:

“I know he loves me – and it’s not for my money.

“…he’s a famous photographer in Guangzhou but he can’t get any work because his charges are too high.

“…I’ve been using my own money – not even my mother’s money to support him. Every time I go over I leave S$2000 in his drawer.

“And I bought him an Armani watch… And I was planning on buying him a MacBook.”

When I heard that, I was like, “Gurrrl…”.

I didn’t say this out loud though. On hindsight, I should have – maybe she might’ve fallen in love with me and even bought me a new iPhone. And a MacBook.

A noble profession

Fri, 30 Nov 2012
1 min read
Add Comment

While at the dentist on Wednesday (different dentist from the one I saw on Tuesday), the dentist struck up a conversation before taking a look at my teeth:

Dentist: So are you having your vacation now?
Me: Er… No, actually, I quit my job.
Dentist: What! Then I can’t treat you anymore.
Me: What! Why?
Dentist: Teaching is such a noble profession.
Me: Yar, but it’s tiring.
Dentist: Yar, actually, I’m quite tired too. Can I quit my job as well?
Me: Can – but only after we finish treatment.
Dentist: OK lah. So what are you doing now?
Me: I’m writing freelance.
Dentist: What are you writing? Novels?
Me: I make some ‘pocket money’ from journalistic-type articles but I’m focusing on creative work – poetry, plays, prose.
Dentist: Oh, OK – then I can treat you lah. You’re still educating the world.

FULL DISCLOSURE:

No nitrous oxide was involved in this conversation.

I also bought Dr Tung’s dental floss for my sister.

Dr Tung's Smart Floss

Privacy settings

Tue, 27 Nov 2012
2 min read
Add Comment

Speaking in hushed tones

While at the dentist yesterday, the patient before me was speaking so loudly that the entire waiting room could hear what he was saying.

In other words: he needed to tweak his privacy settings.

What was he saying? These were some choice quotes from him:

  • “You all only work 5 days a week; I work 8 days!”
  • “I’m a divorcee!”
  • “So you’re doing this with your dad? (Dentist says dad passed away.) Oh I’m so sorry doc! (Dentist says dad passed away 16 years ago.) Oh I’m so sorry doc!”
  • “I’m 56 years old!”
  • “I like skateboarding… I’m a cowboy… I’m a rocker too.”

I thought it was hilarious so I posted this on Facebook.

In his defence (for whatever strange reason), my friends responded:

  • “Anaesthetics as truth serum.”
  • “Nervous lah – it’s the tension that’s making him talk!”
  • “It’s probably the nitrous oxide. You should try it sometime.”

I still felt he was talking too much without filtering what he was saying, though.

Not long after, I received this text message from my sister:

“Eh you’re at the dentist? Can help me buy Dr Tung’s Dental Floss, please?”

-_-

I think I need to tweak my privacy settings.

P.S. I posted my sister’s message – along with my opinion about my own privacy settings – on Facebook.

My sister hasn’t scolded me yet about posting up her orthodontic habits online for all and sundry, but if she does, I’ll blame it on the tension and the nitrous oxide.