The thing about love

Mon, 19 Aug 2013
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Face off

So, many of my friends and loved ones have paired off or are pairing off.

I’m happy for all of them. Unfortunately, not all of them are happy, and some want out.

In a case like this, what’s the best way to decide?

The conventional decision-making process utilises happiness to decide whether to stay or to go.

That’s not wrong, but the focus is – because it usually tends to be on: are you/am I happy with X?

I’ve come to realise – from both conversations and experience (recent and otherwise) – that this question needs to be reframed so that we address the more pertinent issue at hand – that of added value.

Because the thing about love is that it isn’t merely about value i.e. happiness with X; the thing about love is that it’s about added value i.e. how happy X makes us feel about ourselves.

Assuming ceteris paribus – i.e. we’ve cleaned up our act and sown all the wild oats we need to sow, we’ve let go of any issues or people that need to be let go of, etc. – the real question we should be asking ourselves is:

Does X make me more awesome than I already am?

I’ve seen it in the friends and loved ones who are happy, and I’ve felt it for myself too: a good partner is someone who explicitly supports you in becoming better than you already are.

And rightfully so – if being with someone constrains you; curtails your development as a human being; turns you into a shadow of your awesome self, then is that person really good for you?

It’s applicable to not just love, but at work and in friendships and family relationships too.

For as hard as it may be, all of us will need to cut the strings to relationships that are toxic or stunting at various points of time in our lives.

In making those decisions, we shouldn’t let past happiness or promises of future bliss cloud our vision.

What we should be doing, really, is focusing on the fundamental issue of how much X will be able to help us grow.

And if that growth is going to be minimal, negligible – or even negative – then I’d say you know the answer for what you need to do to be happy.

#SGTipsyTrivia: Thu, 29 Aug at Arbite (Aliwal Street)

Fri, 16 Aug 2013
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I’m organising this with a bunch of friends so come on down and join us for the only pub quiz in Singapore with a Singaporean theme!

Singapore-themed Tipsy Trivia

Not everyone bothers about the important things – like what the name of the dinosaur formerly known as Brontosaurus is, or how many MRT interchanges there are in Singapore.

But if matters like these are everyday knowledge for you and your friends, then come on down to Arbite @ Aliwal Street on Thu, 29 Aug 2013 at 7.30pm for a night of Singapore-themed Tipsy Trivia!

It’s the only pub quiz in town with a Singaporean theme – each category has six Singapore-themed questions and four international-themed questions.

For $5 per player, your team of six players gets to flex your brains over six rounds of trivia.

What’s more – the winning team stands a chance of bringing home drink vouchers courtesy of Arbite, along with 60% of the pot for the evening!

So join us – because, really: how much more fun can you get up to along Aliwal Street on a Thursday night?

Singapore-themed Tipsy Trivia!
(Event Listing on Facebook)
#SGTipsyTrivia

Date: Thu, 29 Aug 2013
Time: 7.30pm
Venue: Arbite (28 Aliwal Street, #01-01, Singapore 199918)
Price: $5 per player (max. 6 players per team. Teams with more than 6 players will have 3.5 points deducted per extra player.)

Top Prize: Drink vouchers from Arbite + 60% of evening’s pot
Second Prize: 30% of evening’s pot

Fill in this form to reserve a table for your team. Spots fill up fast; ‘chope’ your place today!

QLRS: Bending laws, reclaiming lore

Fri, 2 Aug 2013
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Eastern Heathens: An Anthology of Subverted Asian Folklore (Edited by Amanda Lee-Koe and Ng Yi-Sheng)

Since 2011, when I reviewed Tan Tarn How’s Six Plays, I’ve made it a point to review a Singaporean literary text for each Jul issue of the Quarterly Literary Review, Singapore (QLRS).

This year, I’ve reviewed Eastern Heathens: An Anthology of Subverted Asian Folklore (Edited by Amanda Lee-Koe and Ng Yi-Sheng).

I forgot to mention this on Facebook, but special thanks to Jessie Koh for helping me bring the text up to Korea when I was there from April to May 2013.

I like having some lead time to read and digest the text/stories so that the review can ferment on its own and more or less write itself by the time I begin writing.

Bending laws, reclaiming lore
Writers (re)narrate traditional tales for a contemporary audience

 

Literary writing in Singapore has entered a renaissance; a Reformation, in terms of both the amount of literary work and the type of writing produced. The last half a decade or so has seen a marked increase in the number of Singaporean writers publishing and performing their literary works. Within these works, a further trend can also be observed – the subversion, reclamation, revision or redirection of narratives (traditional or otherwise) in Singapore writing, evident in works such as Jean Tay’s Boom (2008), in which the modern Singaporean narrative of economic progress and prosperity is given a careful rethink, through to Ann Ang’s Bang My Car (2012), a novella that challenges form by mixing multiple writing genres and using Singlish in place of Standard Singapore English.

These counter-narratives are indicative of the post-postmodern Singapore zeitgeist: a desire to reclaim narratives as an act of remembrance of a Singaporean past that is constantly being demolished and, at the same time, to wrest power away from the ones who traditionally tell the narratives by retelling the same narratives in different ways. It is in this context that Eastern Heathens: An Anthology of Subverted Asian Folklore is situated, inhabiting an equally important space in this segment of Singapore literature that focuses on revising or unearthing narratives for a contemporary Singaporean audience and beyond.

 
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