POSKOD.SG: Ten Steps to Communicating Effectively.

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My latest article on POSKOD.SG, the latest big thing to hit our shores.

Ten Steps to Communicating Effectively.
A guide to winning over friends and contacts in Singapore. (Mostly contacts.)

Besides playing good football and making babies, there is nothing else that we on the Little Red Dot are better at than communicating effectively.

And for good reason too: what in the world could be more Merlion-esque than saying something that one means?

In any case, here are ten steps to effective communication, the Singaporean way.

  1. When conversing, the first thing you want to do is to include people in the conversation. Hence, name-drop or insert as many obscure allusions as you can into your speech:

      “Yes, Delia said the same thing about the Blue Paper. In fact, she said it was similar to the Green Grass Policy implemented back in ’08.”
  2. If people don’t get it, show amusement. The is best displayed through subtle upward spasms of the muscles between the upper lip and the cheek:

      “You… don’t know Delia?” *twitch* “Oh, right – you weren’t on the Remaking WLB committee with us.”
  3. Use acronyms. They are the PIE to life in the fast lane during AM rush-hour traffic, just before SUVs go past the ERP gantry:

      “WLB, WLB! What part of WLB do you not understand?”

(continued…)

Protest vote.

A status update I posted on Facebook: "Dear friends, I know many of us are disappointed that George Yeo has been voted out of Parliament. Remember that this is a corollary of the GRC system. If anything, don't worry - we're in safe hands; the WP will be campaigning for the abolition of the GRC system."
A status update I posted on Facebook: “Dear friends, I know many of us are disappointed that George Yeo has been voted out of Parliament. Remember that this is a corollary of the GRC system. If anything, don’t worry – we’re in safe hands; the WP will be campaigning for the abolition of the GRC system.”

Suddenly, I discover I’ve been un-Friended.

Facebook tells me that "Getty Richway Luckschild is no longer in your friend list."
“Getty Richway Luckschild is no longer in your friend list.”

Confused. Why? I hop over to his profile to try and figure it out. Ah. So des ne.

One of Getty Richway Luckschild's likes: George Yeo.
One of Getty Richway Luckschild’s likes: George Yeo.