laremy.sg

Category: Miscellany

  • Sexy prof strips for students.

    Well, some might call this engaged learning. Others might beg to differ. (via)

  • Will Jun Liang get some tonight?

    I checked my mobile phone after coming out from the shower, and was very surprised to see that I had received two text messages.

    Who would text me at this hour, I wondered. (More accurately, Is it from a secret admirer! was my more hopeful but ultimately wishful thought.)

    Nevertheless, I was curious so I opened the first message. To my amazement, it read:

    In between two podiums. Near to (sic) the gal’s podium. -jun liang.

    Huh! I exclaimed to myself, while Leon ruminated thoughtfully over math questions. Who is this Jun Liang, and why is he texting me!

    My curiosity piqued, I opened the second text message, which to my amusement this time, read:

    We’re at the bar next to the toilet

    Because I am so intelligent and clever, I very quickly put two and two together – while Leon algebrated his math problems – and deduced that: Ah ha! It’s Wed nite/Thu morning, so Jun Liang is Mambo-ing at Zouk, and he is texting someone his location so that said someone will know where to find him.

    However, I don’t know Jun Liang, and I don’t think Jun Liang knows me – I don’t have his number in my phone book, and I don’t know (m)any Jun Liangs anyway, so I suspect he typed the number out in a drunken (not violet) but very frenzied haze and sent the messages to me, the unintended recipient.

    Because I am so easily amused, I laughed to myself (not out loud, mind you, because Leon was busy numerating the denominator) at the absurdity of the situation.

    But because I am also very imaginative, I immediately started worrying: Oh no! What if Jun Liang (my new-found friend) intended the text message for a GIRL? And what if she doesn’t receive the messages? Will she ever be able to find him?

    Quickly, because I am a quick person, I typed out this reply to Jun Liang:

    You’re msging the wrong person dude! But I hope you get some tonight! Don’t be scared, just whack, if you don’t try you’ll never know!

    Satisfied that I had managed to avert yet another national disaster, I walked over to Leon and very proudly told him what I had done.

    However, he grunted at me and asked me to help him with his math problem.

    Silence.

    I hope Jun Liang gets some tonight.

    P.S. If you are Jun Liang and you read this, please let me know if you got some and I will declare the next day a public holiday for everyone!

  • The Great Escape

    There was class today.
    We had a break.
    I went for coffee.
    Bought from The Deck.
    I returned to AS7.
    I saw a bird.
    It was a mynah.
    It looked so forlorn.
    Standing at the door.
    (Made of solid glass.)
    It accidentally flew in.
    But had no egress.
    I thought I’d help.
    I opened the door.
    I turned to look.
    At the damn bird.
    It had skittered away.
    The door swung shut.
    It hit my coffee.
    Which spilled on me.
    My nice t-shirt, specifically.
    I was pretty horrified.
    But steeled my resolve.
    I opened the door.
    And left it ajar.
    I walked one round.
    To shoo the bird.
    Out the damn door.
    Mynah got the message.
    It flapped away hurriedly.
    Into sweet spring’s freedom.
    I stood there staring.
    At the coffee stain.
    Then at the bird.
    I smiled to myself.
    (Secretly; no one saw.
    They’d think me mad.
    If they don’t already.)
    Said under my breath.
    To the departing mynah.
    “Max Perry, go free.”