Unprotected sex – not single-parent benefits – causes unintended pregnancies

Dear Madam/Sir,

I respectfully disagree with “Unequal benefits for single unwed mums a matter of deterrence” (Aug 3).

The writer argues that benefits for single parents is an incentive for people to have children out of wedlock.

Children are not born out of wedlock as a result of benefits for single parents.

It is unprotected intercourse between heterosexual couples which causes unintended pregnancies.

As a matter of public interest, unprotected sex occurs for myriad reasons.

It ranges from the thrill of making love in the raw to ignorance about reproductive cycles.

Unprotected sex can also inadvertently take place when prophylactics fail.

Couples most assuredly do not have unprotected sex while thinking about the benefits that single parents will obtain.

It is the furthest on the average person’s mind before and during the deed.

Unplanned conception can be deterred through holistic sexuality education programmes, such as those already being carried out in educational institutions.

But the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry; there will be people who fall through the cracks, as well as accidents that happen.

Single-parent benefits will address these unfortunate scenarios – not incentivise more women and men to make the beast with two backs.

Thank you.

Best regards,
Laremy LEE (Mr)

(Published as “Unprotected sex, not state benefits, causes unintended pregnancies” on 4 Aug 2015 in TODAY.)

Stuff you must read today (Fri, 4 Oct 2013) – The Erotic Services Edition

Fortunately or unfortunately, the only service provided here is education.


  • The Awesome Sex Worker Who Loves Disabled Clients | Jezebel
    Eye-opening; hadn’t even been aware about this issue until reading the article and watching the video.
  • True Stories: I Was A Receptionist In An Australian Brothel | Nerve
    “Sometimes they ask me if I’m tempted to jump the counter, make $250 an hour instead of $30. My Australian blue-collar boyfriend angrily asked me the same question when I first started work… . The guys who call, overwhelmed by all the choices I offer them, frequently say, “You sound nice. Can I just have you?” I laugh and tell them no”.
  • Adventures in Ideas: Sex Workers of the World, Unite! An Interview With Maxine Doogan | Freakonomics
    “…I met several exotic dancers who didn’t think of themselves as sex workers… . It was important to them to protect their legal work status and not admit that some of their activities inside the dance clubs involved sex… . Then there are those who call themselves specific names like escorts or courtesans as a means of separating their activities from prostitutes because they don’t want to be associated with something that carries so many negative social stigmas and results in so much discrimination… . That’s why I named our organization Erotic Service Providers – it speaks more specifically to the fact that our labor is erotic in nature without using the hot button ‘sex’ word, but still calls out how our respective sub-economies have intersections that [a]ffect each other”.
  • The Year I Spent As A Phone-Sex Operator | Nerve
    “Being a phone-sex operator was a lot like sitting in a confessional when the priest is away. You hear private things that should probably be told to someone else, but they need to be told to someone, so it might as well be you”.
  • Storytime with… A Happy Endings Masseur for Women | Nerve
    Women aren’t generally known to be the recipients of happy ending massages. Is there a hidden demand that you’re meeting?

    Absolutely. Clients’ attitudes are, when it comes to happy endings, why should men have all the fun? With nearly 300 individual clients to date, many of whom are regulars, there’s obviously a strong demand for this kind of thing”.


SQ21: Singapore Queers in the Twenty-First Century.

At the National Library now. Decided to take a break from writing by reading something and ventured over to the shelves behind me.

Picked up SQ21: Singapore Queers in the 21st Century by Ng Yi-Sheng and could not stop reading the book because the stories are so compelling.

Here’s a nugget that made me chuckle:

The word [that the interviewee was gay] spread higher and higher up the command chain until it reached my course commander, who was this Senior Warrant Office. He was this big Indian man, a really old-fashioned conservative fella, very regimental. Everything had to be in tiptop shape, our boots had to be shiny, our bunks had to be clean all the time, and he was always telling us, “Fucking hell. You all better run faster! You all so slow!”

I realised this could turn into something big, and I was really afraid for a while. But then once, during a lecture, he was saying, “The weekend’s coming. You all are booking out. Why don’t you all go get yourself a fuck? So how many of you got girlfriends?” Various hands went up. “Boyfriends?” Then everyone turned and looked at me, and I was thinking, “Shit you!”

Then the course commander said, “Why? What’s wrong? Why? Who’s anti-gay here?” A few people put up their hands. He pointed his finger and said, “Okay you. Get out of your seat. You also, get out. You go sit over there one corner. You all can form the anti-gay corner over there. (p. 133; emphasis mine)

Go read it if you haven’t already done so!