Quality time, in depth

Sat, 14 Mar 2015
2 min read
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(PHOTO CREDIT: LAREMY LEE)
(PHOTO CREDIT: LAREMY LEE)

I thought I’d talk a bit more on the nature of quality time. (A primer here, if you’re not familiar with the concept.)

My take: When it comes to romance, neither of you is expected to give up your life for the other.

Your individual careers and hobbies are important too; you need to be whole yourself before you become part of a whole.

But the conventional wisdom is: if you really like someone, you’ll make the effort and give them time – in a reasonable quantity, but with maximum quality.

So you should be spending enough time together, and having a great experience while you’re at it.

At the end of the day, though, you can’t base relationships solely on what happens when you’re together. Because they’re also about what happens when you’re apart.

You still have to keep in touch – although this is subjective.

What is reasonable for some may be anathema for others; X may want an update every hour, on the hour, while Y may be comfortable with a daily summary.

This is where compromise begins, but if it ends there, then it is what it is.

And – as always – if it’s not happening, it probably ain’t gonna happen.

Quality time

Sat, 14 Mar 2015
1 min read
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You can’t base relationships solely on what happens when you’re together. Because they’re also about what happens when you’re apart.

Stuff you must read today (Fri, 11 Oct 2013) – The Psychology of Language Edition

Fri, 11 Oct 2013
2 min read
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  • The psychology of language: Which words matter the most when we talk | The Buffer Blog
    “By always focusing on ‘How will this make someone feel?’ whenever [we wrote] even a single line, we immediately improved the amount of responses we got from our users”.
     
  • The Power of Names | The New Yorker
    “…words carry hidden baggage that may play at least some role in shaping thought. What’s surprising, perhaps, is how profoundly a single word can shape material outcomes over time”.
     
  • The Power of a Word | The Dilbert Blog
    Observe how an argument is transformed when a loaded word is substituted with another word that reframes the discourse.
     
  • What It Should Have Been: Edition #3 | Vox Nostra: A Voice Of Our Own
    Part of the Disabled People’s Association, Singapore’s public education initiative on the use of proper terminology to describe people with disabilities. Find out more about how this started here.
     
  • Are You a Language Bully? | Slate
    “Those who engage in public corrections of this sort often are looking to feel good about themselves, and…displays of language all-knowing-ness provide a ready-made, two-pronged opportunity to do so. ‘The way we evaluate our competence is relative to other people,’ he says. ‘If I need to feel good about my language skills, one way that I could do that would be to give myself evidence that my language skills are awesome. Another is to give myself evidence that other people’s language skills suck. So by putting down other people, I can feel better about myself.'”.

    Whoops :S