Before “I do”: Pre-marital literacy and the skills for lasting love

Mon, 12 Jan 2026
2 min read
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When Bianca Tham, Residential Student Life Manager at NUS College, reached out to discuss a fireside chat with students on how we prepare for love before marriage even enters the picture, I welcomed the opportunity.

We spend years learning how to write essays and build careers, yet almost no time learning how to love well.

As our conversation unfolded, it became clear marital literacy might be a little early for undergraduates.

But pre-marital literacy – the knowledge, skills and attitudes we need before committing to a long-term partnership – is something many of us are already navigating, whether we realise it or not.

Please join me for this event, where I’ll reflect on my own lived experience and invite an open, honest conversation about how emotional awareness, personal values and self-care shape us and our relationships before we factor in plans for marriage.

Whether you’re single, dating, undecided or simply curious, this session aims to help us make more informed and resilient choices in love.

Before “I do”: Pre-marital literacy and the skills for lasting love
Date: Thursday, 29 January 2026
Time: 8.00-9.30pm
Venue: Cendana Master’s Commons, NUS College

Please register at https://bit.ly/NUSCpml

NUS College students: Please sign up early; spaces are limited to 20 pax.
Alum of USP (including the CCP and TDP) and Yale-NUS College: You’re warmly welcome to register too. Alum slots will be released once student places are filled.

Looking forward to a thoughtful evening of conversation, reflection and learning together.

The parable of the poisoned arrow

Tue, 9 Dec 2025
1 min read
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Fields of pandan, as far as the eye can see. Bali, 2024. (PHOTO: Laremy Lee)

The Parable of the Poisoned Arrow
(A Pooh-ddhist lesson on what really matters)

One morning in Hundred Acre Wood, Piglet is struck by a Tiny Startling Object

Instead of letting Kanga help – because she is splendid at helping – Piglet insists on knowing what shape the Object was, who may have tossed it, whether the wind was involved and so on

If Piglet waits for all the answers, the Object will go on startling Piglet in that very startly way Tiny Things sometimes do

Irrelevant things matter little when we have the means to alleviate the suffering in front of us

Nothing is more important than working to fix whatever’s causing the pain or dissatisfaction in our day-to-day lives

Not to say we should force solutions at all costs or settle for short-term fixes that don’t last

Rather, energy must be focused on addressing the real source of suffering, while steps that lead to healing are taken

The last Teachers’​ Day you’ll ever observe – and how to avoid it

Fri, 3 Sep 2021
2 min read
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Today is Teachers’ Day in Singapore, a day set aside to appreciate the hard work of caring for young lives and minds.

As educators – both leaders and teachers alike – take the day to rest, recharge and reflect on the good that they do, this thought-provoking question should be contemplated too:

What if this were the last Teachers’ Day you’ll ever observe?

For some, I’m sure it’d be even more reason to celebrate. Yay! they’d cheer. No more pesky parents, needy teachers or annoying students to deal with!

Jokes aside, the feeling for most, especially for those in the prime of their career, would be midway between existential dread and impending doom.

Professional obsolescence is a very real threat in all industries, given accelerating technological developments and an increasingly changing social environment.

Naysayers often add to the anxiety by prophesying how the job of teachers will soon disappear, given advancements in technologies that do the work of imparting knowledge better than teachers can.

To avoid being replaced by robots, educators must not only lead and teach well; they must discharge a duty of care at a level that machines will never be able to match.

First, inspire staff and students to learn and challenge them to grow by connecting with them on a human level.

Let staff and students know and feel they are important, and that each is accountable to their own selves for their achievements.

Next, use imagination and creativity to build environments and craft experiences that foster thoughts, values and actions required for well-rounded learning and growth.

This engages staff and students in a holistic manner, and promotes a sense of belonging to their communities for deeper engagement.

Finally, care for your staff and students in the ways they want to be cared for, in order to forge a culture of excellence.

When staff and students know and feel they are heard, supported and trusted, it creates a virtuous circle of care in the educational ecosystem.

Ultimately, this empowers staff and students to strive to succeed and become the best versions of themselves.

A Happy Teachers’ Day to all educators out there, and here’s to many more to come!