laremy.sg

(In light of the octuplets incident, I thought I’d pen a short blog post to explicate my thoughts on parenthood, since everyone knows that I am the world’s foremost authority on many things.)

1. Don’t have any children, period.
2. If you must have children, for whatever reason(s) you may have:
   • Go for marriage counselling. You’re bringing another life into this world, and you sure as hell better make sure the two of you are emotionally stable enough to handle it.
   • Go for financial counselling. Calculate if you can afford having a child in the first place. Take into account stuff like college, before you even start thinking about what brand of diapers to buy.
   • Go for parenthood counselling. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns, and your child is not going to be perfect. (For the guys who’ve served NS, here’s my favourite analogy: No one is truly PES A.) For the people who want to argue with me, look in the mirror – you’re not perfect yourself.
3. If you’re looking for a marriage, financial or parenthood counsellor, my rates are S$100 for an hour.
4. If you’ve passed all those hurdles successfully, less is more, IMHO, but if you really must, stop at two.
5. Good luck.

ADDENDUM: I don’t want to sound overly-cynical, so I thought I’d mention that of course, I do recognise and acknowledge that parenting can be a joyful experience too. But don’t delude yourself into thinking you’re gonna be a great parent unless you’ve spent your life actively working towards becoming a good one. Of course, you can always come to me so that I can pass my very critical judgement on whether or not I think you’re qualified to be a parent. Cheers.